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Relationship Jokes
God and a Lady
(You'll love this!!!)
A 45 year old woman had a heart
attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating
table she had a near death experience.Seeing God she asked "Is
my time up?"God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months
and 8 days tolive."Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in
the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy
tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and
brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she
figured she might as Well make the most of it. After her last
operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I
had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the
path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
Extra Office Work
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager
kissing his secretary.
He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
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An
elderly couple
An elderly couple had been
dating each other for 30 years and, at the urging of their
friends and family, the finally decided it was time to get
married. But first, they agreed they should work out the details
of how their marriage was going to be, as to avoid any let downs
or misunderstandings.
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So the older couple went out to a nice dinner and had a long
conversation about how their marriage is going to work. They
discussed living arrangements, finances and other important stuff.
Finally, the older gentleman decided it was time to bring up the
subject of their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly yet
intrigued.
“Well,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully, “I’d have to
say… I would like it infrequently.”
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses,
he looked her in the eye and casually asked… “Is that one word or
two?”
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A Husband's
Talking Role 
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a
school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you
get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe
next time you'll get a talking role!" |
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